Travelling along a road in Yarmouth when the person driving went straight through a red light.
"Did you not notice that was red" I asked, slightly horrified
"Oh Yes" said the driver "But i always ignore that set, it's a stupid place to put traffice lights"
Wednesday, 14 November 2007
Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Waste Pipe
On a mild(ish) day i stopped off along the coast for a few minutes to stretch my legs. It's always great to hear the sound of children playing, especially as in this case they were playing on the only part of the beach for miles that held a wide bore outlet pipe for field run-off. When i pointed this out to the parents they actually breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thanks for letting us know. We thought it was the end of a water slide.We've been looking for the start of the ride for 10 minutes"
"Thanks for letting us know. We thought it was the end of a water slide.We've been looking for the start of the ride for 10 minutes"
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
A Sign O' The Times Part 2
I overheard a "grockle" (tourist) asking for directions in a petrol station. He wanted to get to Happisburgh.
"Can you tell me where Happisburgh is please"? Pronouncing it as it is spelt, "Happysburr"
The old yokel behind the desk replied, "Never heard of it. I've lived here all of my life and no clue where it is. You've been given the wrong name"
The slightly confused and disgruntled customer left and drove off, not surprisingly in the wrong direction.
"Why didn't you give him directions to Happisburgh"? I asked, pronouncing it "Hazebrough" as the locals do.
"Well if he can't read english, I'm not going to help him" came the predictable reply.
"Can you tell me where Happisburgh is please"? Pronouncing it as it is spelt, "Happysburr"
The old yokel behind the desk replied, "Never heard of it. I've lived here all of my life and no clue where it is. You've been given the wrong name"
The slightly confused and disgruntled customer left and drove off, not surprisingly in the wrong direction.
"Why didn't you give him directions to Happisburgh"? I asked, pronouncing it "Hazebrough" as the locals do.
"Well if he can't read english, I'm not going to help him" came the predictable reply.
Not A Nice Story ! Do Not Read If You Are Squeamish
Just to repeat the above warning, this is an illustration of what a debt collector can encounter, not a "humourous" story....
I went to a call in a village outside of Norwich. Easy enough to spot the address, in a street of manicured lawns there was only one that looked like a bomb site. Late evening and getting dark, only one room was lit...
Knock on the door was answered by a man leaning out of the lounge window, there was an unpleasent smell wafting out but that's something that can go with the job at times. I introduced myself and approached the window. The one bulb was only just bright enough to see my work sheet by, unfortunately it was also bright enough to see several piles of faeces - not just on the lounge floor but also along the window sill.The stench was amazing. This in itself isn't that unusual, there are a surpirsing number of people that live like this, not bothering to clear up after the cat or dog.
After a brief discussion over the debt (i wasn't hanging around) he wanted to see the paperwork better, so he came outside to have a better look. I noticed he'd left the front door open and warned him in case his dog ran out.
"It's ok mate" he replied "I haven't got any pets"!
The piles all over the floor were his. More worrying was the fact he must have been carefully balancing on the window sill, (facing towards the road) in order to go to the toilet.
As I said, not a nice story but i've included it just to show that the job isn't always a series of funny tales.
I went to a call in a village outside of Norwich. Easy enough to spot the address, in a street of manicured lawns there was only one that looked like a bomb site. Late evening and getting dark, only one room was lit...
Knock on the door was answered by a man leaning out of the lounge window, there was an unpleasent smell wafting out but that's something that can go with the job at times. I introduced myself and approached the window. The one bulb was only just bright enough to see my work sheet by, unfortunately it was also bright enough to see several piles of faeces - not just on the lounge floor but also along the window sill.The stench was amazing. This in itself isn't that unusual, there are a surpirsing number of people that live like this, not bothering to clear up after the cat or dog.
After a brief discussion over the debt (i wasn't hanging around) he wanted to see the paperwork better, so he came outside to have a better look. I noticed he'd left the front door open and warned him in case his dog ran out.
"It's ok mate" he replied "I haven't got any pets"!
The piles all over the floor were his. More worrying was the fact he must have been carefully balancing on the window sill, (facing towards the road) in order to go to the toilet.
As I said, not a nice story but i've included it just to show that the job isn't always a series of funny tales.
Monday, 29 October 2007
Dictionary
Help would be appreciated here....
Over the years I've noticed a few words that I don't hear in other counties. I'm sure there's loads more and it'd be great to hear of them.
The first few I can remember are;
Pingle = To play with your food
Jiffle = Fidget, especially in bed
Chimbly = Chimney
Hod-a-nod = Snail (house on his head?)
Nobby = Clever, all about. (caused a few remarks when mentioned in front of my wife)
Gone Out = Mad, weird
I'll update this as i find more.
Over the years I've noticed a few words that I don't hear in other counties. I'm sure there's loads more and it'd be great to hear of them.
The first few I can remember are;
Pingle = To play with your food
Jiffle = Fidget, especially in bed
Chimbly = Chimney
Hod-a-nod = Snail (house on his head?)
Nobby = Clever, all about. (caused a few remarks when mentioned in front of my wife)
Gone Out = Mad, weird
I'll update this as i find more.
How To Train Your Fish
As I don't wish anyone to form the wrong opinion of the person involved here, so I'll let you guess the identity of the Hertfordshire born non-Norfolk person...
Had a 'phone call telling me about the way the new fish were jumping in and out of the water near a newly installed filter.
"They do that all the time" I said, "you can even train them to do it"
"Really"? replied the non- Norfolk person
"Oh yes. You can even buy a special jump for them. Start with just the one jump and add more, the fish will soon be using them for exercise."
"Where can I buy them"?
"Any good pond retailer. They're called Fish Hurdles and they're light weight jumps built on polystyrene so they float"
I was quite pleased I came up with the idea on the spot, and as far as I know the non-Norfolk person (NNP) is still looking for Fish Hurdles to train her Koi.
Had a 'phone call telling me about the way the new fish were jumping in and out of the water near a newly installed filter.
"They do that all the time" I said, "you can even train them to do it"
"Really"? replied the non- Norfolk person
"Oh yes. You can even buy a special jump for them. Start with just the one jump and add more, the fish will soon be using them for exercise."
"Where can I buy them"?
"Any good pond retailer. They're called Fish Hurdles and they're light weight jumps built on polystyrene so they float"
I was quite pleased I came up with the idea on the spot, and as far as I know the non-Norfolk person (NNP) is still looking for Fish Hurdles to train her Koi.
Monday, 22 October 2007
Norfolk - A State Of Mind
My mum always maintains that she's not from Norfolk as she was born in Hertfordshie. Sorry mum, but if you grew up in Norfolk, all your family are from Norfolk and you've lived most of your life in the county then birthplace is an accident of geography.
And to prove it.
I moved to North Lincolnshire a few years ago (hence i can write this blog in safety).
On her visit my mum remarked that it was light a lot later into the evening than at home.
"Why do you think that is "i asked, expecting the answer to be because their garden had large conifors along the western edge.
"That's obvious" she replied, "You live further North than us, it's the Nothern Lights. The Aurora Borealis"
Spot on as usual there mum. Glad you're not from Norfolk, the answer might have been silly.
And to prove it.
I moved to North Lincolnshire a few years ago (hence i can write this blog in safety).
On her visit my mum remarked that it was light a lot later into the evening than at home.
"Why do you think that is "i asked, expecting the answer to be because their garden had large conifors along the western edge.
"That's obvious" she replied, "You live further North than us, it's the Nothern Lights. The Aurora Borealis"
Spot on as usual there mum. Glad you're not from Norfolk, the answer might have been silly.
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